Tuesday, December 28, 2010

on fire

So today i was listening to music doing my housework and I started thinking about God and how I wanted to be more faithful in seeking Him. I've been feeling this way for awhile now. Anyway today it occurred to me that maybe I'm not seeking Him but He is seeking me. I feel this pull to Him and it is certainly not due to anything I am doing. Even when I feel so far away from where I need/want to be I am being pulled into worship of Him. It is so weird because I am just mopping and this song comes on by swithfoot called On Fire. This song is so great. You should listen to it. Anyway while I am listening to it I just feel like it is saying exactly what I am feeling inside and it reminds me of all the times I have felt far away and how I feel a longing deep inside for closeness to Him. How as soon as I give in and put in the effort or even before that He is there invoking worship from my heart, filling my soul with Joy. It just shows me again and again his mercy. I fail and He forgives before I even ask. He hears the groaning of the spirit within me. Its incredible to me. His mercy and grace are amazing and I am so undeserving. Here are the words that caused me to worship today.

But everything inside you knows
Says more than what you’ve heard
So much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything you are
Give me one more chance to be... (near you)

Cause everything inside looks like
Everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I’ll take

When I’m on fire
When you’re near me
I’m on fire
When you speak
And I’m on fire
Burning at these mysteries
These mysteries...

Monday, December 27, 2010

Christmas, birthdays, and new years resolutions

Christmas was great. Me and Christmas have issues sometimes. I know that it is to celebrate christs birth and I love Jesus but to me Christmas in America is not at all about Christ and I am a part of that trend that excludes Jesus from his own bday party. I just always feel like it is wrong because it completely contradicts what Jesus would want. Consumerism is not what Jesus would want. Greed is not what Jesus would want. I mean sure, there are many people that are not this way but as a whole I think Christmas has become something distorted. Plus, the pagan roots surrounding the holiday are hard for me to ignore. So I am to a point where I just want to celebrate Christmas without making it religious and making a point to have a day of reflection of Jesus birthday. I mean if it were me, I wouldn't want people celebrating my birthday this way. I worked retail as a part of a friends and family thing this holiday season and probably 90% of people used a CREDIT card to pay. I hate that. Nobody should have to charge gifts for Christmas. This bothers me. I don't want someone to go into debt to buy me a gift. Well anyway once I make Christmas just a holiday I can relax about it even though the greed, consumerism, and debt makes me INSANE! I dont mean to cut Christ out of Christmas but I just dont feel like it is the respect Christ deserves. I think if we really think about what Christ would want for His birthday (which supposedly was no where near Dec. 25) is for us to be His faithful servants willing to serve where we are needed. So maybe instead of wondering what I am getting next or if I got as much in gifts as so and so I should be focused on serving others. I just feel so lazy because I never follow through on these feelings. I've spent a few years having a lot of dislike for Christmas because of these feelings. I sit here thinking that I am sounding really really judgmental but really I dont think that I have any right to dole out advice on others this is a personal struggle inside of me. It is what I need to do. It is about what is going on with my soul and my personal convictions.
So on the note of gifts...my birthday is in a few days and I am so excited because I am getting a Nook! I have been thinking about getting one for awhile because of my trip to China. I really wanted something to put in my carry on that was light instead of a million books. So I am excited! yay! I can't believe that I will be 27! I am getting old too fast! haha.
So I have a few new years resolutions this year. A lot of people say that they don't do resolutions but I always do. I LOVE to have goals. I like to make lists. I want to be better. I enjoy making resolutions.
1. to seek God. (I've got to get better at spending time with Him) I really feel like I am right at the edge of God using me to do something for Him but I keep being too lazy to ever do it. I want that to change.
2. Work out and lose the last 17 pounds I have. this is obvious. haha.
3. Read 40 books(in addition to Bible reading and study). That may not sound like a lot but I only read when Claire is asleep so I dont have a lot of time so that is a little less that a book a week.
4. Save a set amount (that Mike and I have already agreed on) for our adoption.
5. fix our AC with cash

4.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Simplicity 8953

So here it is! I'm finally all finished with the princess dress! I got it all made up for her and put it on her and she gasped with joy! She kept talking about going to the ball. haha. All I can say is that this dress is perfect for a girl her age! She loves princesses and dressing like a true fairytale princess. I had so much fun with this dress.
The fabric is satin. A dull satin and a shiny satin. At first I was not sure about the color because it was so bland looking but now I am so glad. At the last minute I made a headband for her with some ribbon that matched the dress. It was easy as well. I just hot glued everything. =)

I saw the pattern for this a few years ago and I thought that it looked so hard but beautiful! I'm glad I bought it because now it is out of print. You can still get it though. I can't believe I finally made it! =)

The shoes were from Gap. We loved them as soon as we saw them. When we got ready to take pictures I said "Claire, go get your shoes." and she said,"They aren't shoes, they're glass slippers". That is the fun of all this. I just love that she loves it so much. It was meant to be OVER the top! =)

All I know is that I am just so proud of this dress. It is probably my favorite project ever. I'm glad I saved it. I love the fabric. I love my baby and I love the photographer. I did do a review of the dress pattern and it is here