books and learnin'

Soooo I just finished Bringing up Girls by James Dobson. I wanted it to be better than it was. Basically it was a big book of quotes from other books with a little talk of how Mr. Dobson thinks girls should look. The only thing I really enjoyed about this book was his idea of the princess movement. I have to agree...lets get away from bratz and turn into princesses deserving of a chivalrous prince. I think that pretty much any other parenting book would be better. He went on and on in one chapter about boys...and it was like "I DONT HAVE ANY BOYS"! I probably would NOT recommend this book. I cant get over the talk of colored hair and piercings. (and tattoos) I just dont agree whatsoever with his thoughts on that in relation to sexuality and self esteem. The better title to this book should be James Dobson's 300 pages of quotes from other books.

I'm also in the middle of wuthering Heights. I am still loving it! I know whats coming and the more I read it the more I want to know about Emily Bronte. There is a movie on Netflix that I will probably watch after I am finished with the book. I'm not sure that it will be any good but we'll see.

I have been pretty suspicious that Claire has ADHD so I checked out a book on it and now that I've read it I am not sure that this is what she has. She just has the H part of it I think. haha. The book was called the top 247 questions about add/adhd. There is obviously something going on in her but I just dont know what and I dont know how to find out. I will probably ask at her 4 year old appt. It seems like she is learning to listen a little more each day. I am happy to see progress. She is still the most hyper child in MOST classes she is in and pretty much everywhere she goes. I've only seen one other child as hyper as she is. It is a sensitive subject for me. Parents of kids with hyperactivity (and I'm sure adhd) feel a lot of guilt and shame. I remember being the type of person to see an out of control child and think "that kids needs some discipline" but now I know that sometimes that isnt what the problem is. Trust me, Claire gets disciplined. The strong willed child is a great read for this subject actually. It is pro-spanking but if you dont spank you can just replace the word spank with time out. lol. So Im still not sure what to do about Claire's hyperactivity. I love who she is but she has a hard time functioning in classes. It scares me. I prayed about it the other night and I asked God to give me some advice so I read the Bible and He led me to some scripture on Jesus' healing people. So I took that to mean that God can help her function in class and Ijust need to pray about it. I dont think Claire is broken. I think she is SO intelligent and funny it is just the hyperactivity. She struggles in her dance class, gymnastics, sunday school because of it. I just know that I DO NOT want to medicate her because of this. I'm just not sure that changing who she is to make a teachers life easier is a good idea. I'm not going to do it. This may back into a corner where I have to homeschool. I'm getting ahead of myself. =) I just feel so hopeless sometimes with her. I'm so worried that the experiences pre-adoption may have affected her. I just worry because I want her to have friends and be able to learn in school.

This whole issue I am having brings me to a new point and that is that I think we push out toddlers too hard to be perfect. I heard this one lady say that she makes her 3 year old sit and do her "homework" until she finishes even if that means she sits at the table all day. I mean COME ON! That is very extreme but I think a lot of moms do this. (including me!) I think to myself why does Claire need to know her ABC's right now? She doesn't, she is 3. I just feel pressure because other kids know theirs. But she is learning other stuff right now and she is going through her own special process of learning. So I heard of this book called The Hurried Child and apparently it is about how we force our kids to grow up too fast by pushing them to hurry with their learning and development and sometimes pushing learning too much too soon makes them skip important stages of development. I also have issues with people thinking that their private school kid is so much smarter than the public school kid. I've been to a private school and I'll tell you that it was the worst 2 years of my kid life. I feel like I am an intelligent person and I was public schooled most of my school career. I mean I have nothing against it until people start acting like their kids are smarter or better because of it. That is just silly. I'm just not sure that private school kids turn out any smarter than public school kids. (in books and common sense) I guess I am just feeling a lot of pressure and my kid is just going into PRE-K...IN A YEAR!!!!!! So anyway I have high hopes for the book but my library didnt have it so I have to wait for the person who checked it out to turn it back in. (they are 3 weeks late) Oh and just to say again I DO NOT THINK PRIVATE SCHOOL IS BAD...IT IS GREAT if that is where you want your child to learn. I'm just saying it doesnt make your kid superior to mine or that you or your kid are superior to me because of my public school education. =) I'm also not saying that Claire will never be in a private school. My guess is no but you never know.